A chat with the band following their explosive Old Blue Last set at the July festival.

Joining us at East London Block Party, Crewe five-piece Christian Music brought an indelible, clatteringly loud live set to the Hard of Hearing Stage. The band’s music is an explosive combination of forceful walls of electric sound against snatches of deadpan lyrics, the stage set completed by kitsch charity shop DVDs and an indomitable aura of chaos.

Speaking to the band after the show, the illusion was not shattered, and we did our best to keep up with the conflicting trains of thought of Josh (who self-credits as guitar/’vocals’), Euan (keys/trumpet), Joe (Bass), Harry (Bass VI) and Joel (Drums). Ultimately, we left with an impression of their attitude to London, love-hate relationship with DEVO and Fugazi and their love for ‘Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga’…

So you’re based in Crewe, but what is your favourite thing about playing shows in London?

Harry: Nothing, I fuckin’ hate it here!

Joe: All the buildings are really big and scary compared to Crewe. It’s quite alarming and puts me on great edge, which means that I’m that scared that I don’t focus on the gig and maybe get a better performance out.

Josh: Objection – he never gets a good performance out.

How about your least favourite thing?

Joe: I’d like to re-word my previous answer – all the buildings are really big and scary and I’m quite intimidated.

Harry: It’s gotta be the roads and the people on the roads! It’s terrifying being a pedestrian here, I don’t think I’ve got anywhere without almost being hit by four cars in a row.

Euan: My least favourite thing is having to travel down here because it’s very stressful. It’s a big scary city. But at least people come out and enjoy it.

How did you get to today’s gig?

Joe: We have a magic carpet called the Agila, which is a very good car.

Euan: It’s not a magic carpet, it’s a little box, and we drove down here in three-and-a-half, four hours, turned up here, and we played the gig. I can’t call it a magic carpet.

If you are visiting a city for the first time to do a gig, do you have any rituals, anything you must do every time?

Joel: Find a local pharmacist.

Josh: Find the band room, find the bar, find the car park, leave as soon as possible.

Harry: Cry for twenty minutes, do the gig and leave.

Joe: I like to do cartwheels on the pavement, mainly to see how wide the paths are compared to ours at home.

Josh: He’s quite long so it’s really quite a good test.

Chorus or Verse?

Josh: Middle 8!

Joe: The bridge.

Harry: The end!

Euan: The start! [Rest of band groan]

When did your music start getting so darn loud? And how does one begin to write a loud song?

Josh: Volume knob – next question.

So where does a Christian Music song start?

Josh: I write the songs, I say, “Hey boys, listen to this!” They go, “Awh we don’t like that”, and then we play it anyway.

And what does your writing process look like?

Josh: I’m sat there like, “Oh man, I wish I could write a DEVO song, yeahhh, I wish I had more synths, ah I don’t have any of this shit.” And then I copy someone else.

What is so good about DEVO?

Josh: What isn’t good about DEVO?

What is the biggest influence on your music write now?

All apart from Josh: Don’t ask him!

Euan: Don’t you dare.

Josh: Fugazi. I love Fugazi, don’t listen to the rest of them. DEVO, Fugazi, what more do you need in life?

Harry: Completely disregard what he’s just said, the biggest influence for us is Metal Gear Solid 4. It’s about seven hours of cutscenes and it’s fucking brilliant. Also Halo: Reach, if you’ve not played Halo: Reach, this is your chance to go play Halo: Reach.

What was everyone’s favourite band when you were ten?

Joel: Ringo Starr’s All-Starr Band

Harry: This is a little bit embarrassing, I can’t believe I’m gonna put this out there, it was Hollywood Undead. I was big on that emo stuff at the time.

Josh: I didn’t listen to music when I was ten.

Euan: Same answer for me.

What were you two doing if you weren’t listening to music?

Josh: ‘Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga’.

Euan: ‘Also Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga’.

Joe: ‘Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga’ for the Wii.

Joel: ‘Lego Batman’.

Harry: Screaming into the void and hoping someone would hear me.

What is planned for the next Christian Music release?

Josh: I hope this email finds you well [exits].